Seven Ways to Approach a Friend with Anorexia

If you suspect that a friend or loved one suffers from the eating disorder anorexia, can you do to help them? People who suffer from an eating disorder may feel defensive, depressed, or ashamed of their condition, so the subject must be broached with considerable sensitivity. If you think that your friend has anorexia, here are a seven suggestions for how to approach a friend that you think suffers from anorexia.

1. Set aside some private time to talk. People who suffer from anorexia often do so in private. They tend to hide their condition, and some may even feel a strong secret shame. Never bring up your concerns in front of others. This may simply make your friend defensive, embarrassed or worse of all, left feeling betrayed.

2. Share your concerns with your friend in an honest but non-confrontational manner. Tell your friend what's on your mind. Be prepared with specific examples about your concerns. Many individuals suffering from anorexia may be in denial or simply too defensive to open up. Tell your friend why you think their eating habits may represent an eating disorder and be prepared to back up your concerns with specific examples.

3. By all means avoid getting into a battle of the wills. Your talk with your friend should remain low-key and sympathetic. Never let it escalate into an argument. If your friend continues to put up a wall or denies a problem, simply restate your concerns and why you think her actions may be a problem. Listen to your friend and remain supportive.

4. Be a good listener. Even if your friend repeatedly denies any problems, let them speak openly about how they feel. Even if they are resistant or defensive at first, talking with a good friend can allow them to express feelings they have been hiding. This openness can eventually help your friend be honest about their problem. Even if your friend is not responsive at first, your conversation with her can establish a newfound openness between the two of you that can help later on.

5. Avoid placing blame or guilt on your friend. Try to use "I" statements that are backed up by specific examples of your concerns. For instance, "I am worried about you because you don't seem to be eating enough." Never make your friend feel guilty or ashamed. Stay supportive yet concerned about your friend's health and well being.

6. Offer your friend continual support. Stay positive and supportive at all times. Offer to accompany your friend to counseling. You may want to be prepared with information about counseling when you meet with your friend, but avoid being heavy-handed about it. Deciding to pursue counseling is ultimately a personal decision. Avoid expressing frustration or negative thoughts about your friend's condition.

7. Avoid simplifying your friend's condition. Statement's like, "Just eat and you'll feel better" may only frustrate a person with anorexia. Such easy solutions overlook the complexity of this condition, which often operates on many emotional, psychological and physical levels.